Coffeemaker Fiasco Part 2

So, I can't live without caffeine...it's a daily necessity, and much more a part of my survival than the natural elements air and water. I just can't imagine functioning without it. I mean, right now I'm a mess. I went grocery shopping this morning just to drink coffee while I browsed for food. But that was only one measly [watered-down] cup. I need another. So I get home, and I'm jonesing really bad...and I turn to my coffeemaker...which I know isn't going to work. I've played with all the nasty program and clock buttons. This bitch just isn't going to brew. But still, I persist. I got online and decided to look for a manual. My coffee maker is pretty straight-forward, but I was hoping I could come up with *something*. Perhaps it's been recalled. But I go through all the logistics and directions for coffee making, step by step...I've got it all down. I've got No. 4 paper cone-shaped paper filters, I've closed the brew chamber, the carafe is all the way in under the coffeemaker. The ON light is illuminated [green for go]. But, there's no coffee brewing going on here. I can't even exploit the built in Sneak-A-Cup feature [highlighted in the manual]. I'm just fucked. I've got Mountain Dew on hand...some Chilled Espresso Lattes...but, it's just not what I want right now.

I've never experienced such focused desire.